A New Chapter in the Book of True Love
Lately I can’t remember how old I am. Now that April is just before me, I have paused to think about it. April has always been a special month. It’s my birthday month. Hey, I’m an Aries. Need I say more? Spring is by nature married to renewal, joined by definition. April is also the month of my wedding anniversary to my husband, Tim. As I reflect on the past year, it is with bittersweet tenderness. I think of life in chapters and this new chapter we’ve been in hasn’t followed any script. It has been as wonderful as I imagined and as different. Tim and I are navigating our new life, turning the pages as they present. Some feel worn, read a thousand times, the paper soft, familiar. Others are starched, coated with a foreign sheen, unintelligible, necessitating multiple reads. We are together 24/7, a condition many wives groan over, yet as we have done with each new chapter, we have fine tuned and found the sweet spot. It lies somewhere beyond the layers of self. To constantly be with one’s love is an art worth exploring. How will it be experienced? A continuous dance of gnawing on one’s nerves, a quarrelsome fest of getting what each of needs, or a simple offering, a step back from ego, a declination of an invisible invitation to tangle, a gentle nudging of the self from the center? We have fallen into an exquisite routine that seems more like a dance, one that requires anticipation, openness and full participation. I think about our month’s journey of late, our opportunity to have this uninterrupted time that we both guard as the jewel that it is, because life is change and we are not immune. Tim will take a job, perhaps be away five days a week. It is temporary. It is necessary. It’s okay. I will write my next novel, he will be amongst the bison and the bears. This chapter we are living, the fairy tale section in a book as tumultuous as any other marriage will sustain us though the next. We will always have these months of long walks in the mountains, working side by side on our little ranch, watching open-mouthed as the moon has risen and the sun has set. I don’t know how the next pages will read, but I do know we’ll read them together if not in body, then in spirit and love. I want to grow old with this man and I know that I will.