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Iron Horse

August 28, 2010


 The void in my life has been spreading as of late.  That space where Utah used to fill, the call of the woods shared between us, my time alone from humans where I would come to a homeostasis of some sort and be again presentable to the rest of humanity.  I have found that my iron horse does help.  I rarely drive these days, instead taking my bike every single time I can.  It gives me that feel of being alone in the world even when surrounded by traffic and houses and the bray of our crowded urban life.  Maybe it is because there is no metal and glass shell between myself and the elements, but I think it is also because I have been taken back to my college days when I would ride the big hill up to UCSC and many times beat the bus.  

There is something very good to be said about having your world in your backpack (now my utility baskets), freeing yourself from parking woes, using your own body to transport yourself to life’s next event.  Even if I get a fleeting sense of considering the car option, I remember when Utah might pause before a big climb, waiting for my urge to continue.  Yet he still did it and when I think about all the mountains he climbed for me, I realize that I can ride across town even after a sweaty yoga class or even at 5:45 in the morning when it is still dark and I am half asleep.  

Alicia and Sparky

I have been looking for a horse, perusing the options online.  This morning my friend Alicia and I were talking about breeds, the pros and cons, Quarter Horse verses Arabian, etc.  She said that she now knows it is all about the relationship.  The relationship is everything.  I have been thinking of that all day, because I absolutely agree.  What do I remember about my journey with Utah?  It is all the experiences we shared, the times we figured stuff out together and how we came to know each other so well.  

My bike might not be animate in the traditional sense, but it is my good friend and has been a fine stand-in for the real thing for now, because I will remain without a horse until I find a horse that chooses me as much as I choose him.

photo by Tim Morley


2 Comments leave one →
  1. August 30, 2010 3:21 pm

    Hi Julie Ann,
    I have really enjoying following your blog. I really understand about how it is all about the relationship with the horse. I have lost such a trusted companion 3 years ago. Last year my son and husband found my new horse ‘Suzie’. I new as soon as my footed rested in the stirrup that I had found another soul mate. There is no feeling like it in the world. Recently I found such a horse for my 80 year old mother, George and come home and mom is in love with him and his quirks the search will take some time but, your horse will find you but all good things take time.
    Good luck finding your horse.
    Connie Larsen
    Standard Alberta Canada

    • August 30, 2010 4:56 pm

      Thank you so much for writing and how inspiring that your 80 year old mom is still riding. I want that to be me. I agree with you that when I meet my new companion I will know. I look forward to that am also excited to have a new friend.

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