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Daughter, Mother, Daughter

June 15, 2010

Mom & Genavieve 1987


I am a lucky woman to be able to experience being a mother to adult daughters and still be a daughter to my mother at the same time.  Like as in most close relationships, my mother and I have had misunderstandings and heart breaks over the decades.  I have had the same with my daughters, little things that I have learned to keep unsaid so as not to infringe on areas that we are not yet ready to share as equals.  The great thing about my mom and me, is that no matter what happens between us two headstrong, opinionated women, we always get back in there and try to make things better between us. 

My journey as a writer has offered up a bit of gold in an unexpected place.  Beyond the personal fulfillment of completing my first novel and actually finding a publisher, I have reaped a reward that is like a balm on one of the places in my heart that is most tender.  My mother is an extraordinary businesswoman.  She became a psychiatric social worker back in the ’50s

The Professional

when there were no women blazing the trail for her.  She completed her training at State Hospitals and County Family Service and then set up a private practice which thrived for 30 plus more years to follow.  She managed a blended family before the term existed, put all of us kids through college and still followed her drive to be a professional. 

Perhaps she was not thrilled when I took a job at the hospital laboratory, putting aside my aspirations to be a writer in order to contribute to the stability of my family, but she never showed it.  After all, what mother doesn’t want their child to live out potentials that scream to be fulfilled as they go through maturation?  So skip forward 25 years and here I am finally doing it and who is there behind the scenes rooting me on full steam at age 79?  You guessed it.  My mom.  I have questions and fears about the process of getting my book published.  I give her a call and her half century of professional experience spans the distance between the east and west coast. 

All her grandchildren

I have thought about my own daughter’s futures a lot lately (who I am kidding, I always think about their futures).  I know Eva would be a fabulous literature professor.  Her love and understanding for the written word inspires me.  I know that Genavieve and Cheynne could open a restaurant, that the love she puts into her edible creations would attract people from miles around.  But, from my own long and winding journey, I know that they will fulfill these talents when they are ready, or maybe not.  No matter what they choose, I will be in the background rooting for them as my mother does me.  The great circle continues.

Genavieve's Pie

One Comment leave one →
  1. Shirley K. Gruga permalink
    June 16, 2010 2:40 pm

    Thanks Julie for a beautiful tribute to a wonderful woman whom we all admire so much here in Biltmore Lake. Carolyn is a great friend and always so upbeat even with all their medical problems. I told her Tuesday it would be wonderful if they had a few years with no health problems. Hope they have a wonderful time in Williamsburg, VA this week.

    Your MOM friend – Shirley

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