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My husband and My Horse

March 5, 2010

Tim and Utah

When I told my husband, Tim, that I was going to write this piece, he gave me that look.  The one that tells me I am a bit too far out there.  I am going to write it anyway.  It is about my husband and my horse which is probably why he looked at me sideways.   

A good horse relationship is much like a good marriage in many ways.  It is long-term, there are good times and bad, and there is lots of tolerance on all sides, but the aspect that I want to write about is how we choose each other every day.  I was out in the round pen with Utah yesterday during a break in the rain.  He got pretty darn feisty after the obligatory laps at the trot  in each direction and a few smooth compliant direction changes.  It was when he realized that I wanted more from him on this occasion, more than our usual quick interlude on days like this, that he thought he would show me a thing or two.  Don’t worry, it wasn’t this part that reminded me of my husband.  It was the part after that, when he chose to work with me even though he clearly had something else in mind.  After all

Tim doing one of his things.

we have been through together, the crashes, the dominance battles, travelling through the desert , running into snow in the high Sierra, crossing huge granite slabs on slippery horse shoes, swimming in lakes, and riding alone in the backcountry miles from anywhere, he trusts me and I trust him.  Yes, sometimes the trust takes a hit, but then we both choose to try again, and the new place it brings us is better than the old.  


I could make this same list for me and Tim.  We choose each other even when we might have a personal agenda that would take us elsewhere.  The choice is made every morning and we both know it could change before bedtime.  There are no guarantees, just offerings.  It isn’t a coincidence that the times of trouble with my horse and with my husband have occurred during a period when I had taken the relationship for granted.  I had forgotten the important kernel, the gift that the other gives freely every day and that gift needs to be treasured and appreciated.   

 So when I say that having a horse is like having a husband, I really mean that I am lucky as hell to have a relationship with both.

6 Comments leave one →
  1. tim permalink
    March 5, 2010 3:34 pm

    I am thankful for you and your choices…………

  2. Cesar Padilla permalink
    March 5, 2010 6:02 pm

    A joy to read and a revelation of what really you are all about. Love. Dad

  3. Laura permalink
    March 5, 2010 6:51 pm

    Lovely pictures, inspiring writing. While you prepare to have your books published, your blog-writing is a wonderful expression on its own. Have you heard of that “Pioneer Woman” blog, originating in Oklahoma or Texas — thousands of readers follow her, she has a cookbook, etc. I picture you folding all of your past, present and future creative selves and endeavors into this. I’m proud of you!


    • Jack permalink
      March 6, 2010 6:05 pm

      Good stuff mom! I enjoyed reading it and the site is very snazzy!

  4. March 9, 2010 11:08 pm

    Thank you for teaching me that everything is a choice, a daily choice, and to cherish the choice made to be together each and every day.


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